September 19: Mereke

Today we left early to go visit Josie Mereke. As you heard yesterday, we called Ekaterina in the afternoon, and told her that we had made up our minds about adopting Mereke. During the same phone call, I told her that we would like to take her back to the apartment with us as soon as possible. Brian and I went to the orphanage alone today, leaving Judy and Liam at the apartment, because both Mira and Irina were with us.

In the car, Irina asked, through Mira, when we want to take Mereke to the apartment. We reiterate "as soon as possible", and talked a bit about the logistics of the next few days, since we still needed to make another trip to the orphanage to deliver the diapers, etc. Nothing was decided at that time. Irina also told us we should take lots of pictures today, because we will need to bring 8 photos to the Judge, proving we visited her at the orphanage.

At the orphanage, while waiting to see Josie, Mira told us that she doesn't like how they re-dress the children before bringing them to us, because they don't want us to see the bad clothes they wear. This was interesting to hear.

They finally brought her to us. The cold rash on her nose and face is almost clear, and she seemed very happy to see us - especially Brian. She's definitely going to be a daddy's girl. We played for about an hour. She especially likes to be lifted up above the head, and brought close to the face. This makes her smile and laugh out loud. We fed her, and changed her diaper. Just the normal, playing with baby stuff. I don't mean to sound cold, but if you know me, you know how I felt about Liam at first. I believe strongly that love grows over time, so I do not like to gush with emotional first-response. In fact, that is one of the things that was so painful about Dinara. The response to her was so intense and emotional, because of her extreme need. This experience is so much more simple. I feel the natural "fact" of love and care for Josie. I know and feel my commitment to her as her caregiver and mother. But I also know that the intense feelings of attachment will grow over time, and for now, I am just enjoying being with her, exchanging moments of enjoyment.

After about an hour of playing and feeding, it was time to go. We had another brief discussion about logistics, and decided that we would do whatever we needed in order to come back and deliver the diapers, but we did want to take her with us. Somehow, the message got lost in the translation, and the nurse came in and took her away. We had a comical moment of scurrying to call them back, with exclamations and laughs of misinterpretation. They asked if we had enough clothes, diapers, bottles, etc., and if we knew how to take care of the sores on her nose. We assured them that we would be fine, thanked them, and said goodbye.

It was a peaceful drive back to Almaty. Josie seemed a little overwhelmed at first. Looking out the window at the passing trees, she held both hands in tight fists, and retracted her elbows and shoulders, as though pulling an invisible sheet over her head. I just held her close to my heart, and gently rubbed her back. Within a few minutes, she was fast asleep, and her fear-response loosened.

We called Judy from the car, who said she and Liam were having a great time. She was surprised and very happy that we had Josie with us. Back in Almaty, we lounged away the afternoon. We had a very long lunch at "Amstel" (we've named the outdoor restaurants for the product placement on their canopies). While we were there, the sky went from blue to gray, the wind whipped, and it started to rain. The waiter brought big fleece blankets for each of us (as did the waiters for all the other tables). I think this is just about the coolest thing ever. So we sat wrapped in blankets, all cozy, eating our shishlek (big tasy meatballs wrapped in light flatbread, and dipped in pepper sauce). By the time we were done with our meal, the sky had cleared, and the ground was dry. Pretty amazing weather.

I should mention something really important.... At the orphanage today, I tried to nurse Josie. As I mentioned before, she has a very strong sucking reflex, and spends much of her time sucking on her tongue. We can't find the pacifiers we brought, and are trying to find some at the store. This is a very good reflex, because I think it helps her deal with her surroundings, "process" and "integrate", as I think my big sister would say. It also means that she hopefully has the strength to learn to nurse. It was a trick to get her to open her mouth wide, but once she did, and I got the breast into her mouth, she began sucking away. After a few minutes, the milk let down, and she was actually nursing - first try! I was amazed. She didn't get a full feeding, because once she fell off, it was difficult to get her back on, and she was hungry and a little frustrated, so we went to the bottle. Later, at the apartment, we tried 2 more times, with increasing success. (Mom, I have a great photo of Liam and Josie, both having found a spot on my lap, and nursing together... I won't be posting it, of course, but it's a priceless photo.)

Liam is definitely having his share of jealousy, but for the most part, he is very happy to have her here. He loves to touch her, rub her belly, kiss her forehead. He knows it is a "no no, uh uh" to touch the owies on her nose (although he points it out by touching them and saying "no no, uh uh"). For her part, she is enthralled with him. She only laughs harder as he pats her head, or pokes at her.

That's it for our first full day together as a family. Stay tuned....


Daddy's girl


Irina and Mira meeting Mereke